Sunday, May 17, 2009
Awkward
When you're having a conversation with two other people, and you actually FEEL the sparks flying between them.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Ballad of the East (to) West
Cleveland --> Chicago
I couldn’t stop staring at the air hostess’ legs.
They fascinated me, like other very unfascinating things, because of how plastic they looked. I felt I was looking at the lower quarter of a 5’11” Barbie.
On my way to my next terminal, I passed
1. A replica of the Abraham Lincoln statue in D.C. (note: the original was built by Daniel Chester French – a useless fact I will remember for the rest of my life)
2. A lego replica of the statue of liberty – the only difference (besides the size and location) being that the torch was replaced by a windmill. Very funny Chicago.
3. Overhead piping of colored lights which looked like the Las Vegas airport on depressants. A calming sight nevertheless.
4. Famous Ex-Olympian Chicago residents welcoming people, over the PA system, to Chicago, the new hopeful of the 2016 Olympics.
5. Announcements advising people on how to minimize the spread of germs, carefully avoiding the words ‘swine’ and ‘flu’.
Chicago --> LA
I couldn't figure out at first if the person sitting next to me on the flight was a man or a woman. The 'person' had a lot of curly blond hair, was really tall and big, and was wearing a pantsuit. (I gave up predicting someone's gender based on their hair after the first day of my freshman orientation at UT, when the woman with beautiful long blond hair sitting in front of me turned out to be a man with a mustache and a matching beard.) After a few minutes, I heard the person speak, and found that she was a she.
I tried to sleep through the rest of the unbearably long flight (4.5 hours - the longest non-stop flight I've taken from one city to another in the US).
Just before we landed, I watched the sunset over the mountains. The mountains were beautiful - breathtakingly beautiful - there was the blue sky, with a lower crimson layer, and the mountains, and then the rest of LA. It was as if an expert artist had started painting this picture at the top, in a dream-like state, and concluded the remaining part of the painting (where the human influence began) after a fight with his wife.
The drive back to the hotel was quite eventful. Sans a GPS device (the rental agency had run out), I stumbled through the traffic, going way below the speed limit, making several annoying-last-minute lane changes, running a red light accidentally at an intersection I mistook as a continuation of the streets, having a cop honk at me, having several other drivers almost run me over, ending up in Hollywood, and finally reached the hotel, only to find at the entrance that it had a slightly different name than the one I was looking for. Great. I walked up to the receptionist and confessed, and she smiled brightly, saying - no, this is it.
I never thought I'd miss public transportation so much.
I couldn’t stop staring at the air hostess’ legs.
They fascinated me, like other very unfascinating things, because of how plastic they looked. I felt I was looking at the lower quarter of a 5’11” Barbie.
On my way to my next terminal, I passed
1. A replica of the Abraham Lincoln statue in D.C. (note: the original was built by Daniel Chester French – a useless fact I will remember for the rest of my life)
2. A lego replica of the statue of liberty – the only difference (besides the size and location) being that the torch was replaced by a windmill. Very funny Chicago.
3. Overhead piping of colored lights which looked like the Las Vegas airport on depressants. A calming sight nevertheless.
4. Famous Ex-Olympian Chicago residents welcoming people, over the PA system, to Chicago, the new hopeful of the 2016 Olympics.
5. Announcements advising people on how to minimize the spread of germs, carefully avoiding the words ‘swine’ and ‘flu’.
Chicago --> LA
I couldn't figure out at first if the person sitting next to me on the flight was a man or a woman. The 'person' had a lot of curly blond hair, was really tall and big, and was wearing a pantsuit. (I gave up predicting someone's gender based on their hair after the first day of my freshman orientation at UT, when the woman with beautiful long blond hair sitting in front of me turned out to be a man with a mustache and a matching beard.) After a few minutes, I heard the person speak, and found that she was a she.
I tried to sleep through the rest of the unbearably long flight (4.5 hours - the longest non-stop flight I've taken from one city to another in the US).
Just before we landed, I watched the sunset over the mountains. The mountains were beautiful - breathtakingly beautiful - there was the blue sky, with a lower crimson layer, and the mountains, and then the rest of LA. It was as if an expert artist had started painting this picture at the top, in a dream-like state, and concluded the remaining part of the painting (where the human influence began) after a fight with his wife.
The drive back to the hotel was quite eventful. Sans a GPS device (the rental agency had run out), I stumbled through the traffic, going way below the speed limit, making several annoying-last-minute lane changes, running a red light accidentally at an intersection I mistook as a continuation of the streets, having a cop honk at me, having several other drivers almost run me over, ending up in Hollywood, and finally reached the hotel, only to find at the entrance that it had a slightly different name than the one I was looking for. Great. I walked up to the receptionist and confessed, and she smiled brightly, saying - no, this is it.
I never thought I'd miss public transportation so much.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
The Speed of Wit
The guy behind the check-out desk at the library smiled when he asked me what my last name was.
'Any relation to the steel tycoon?' he inquired when I told him, simultaneously sifting through a little box, trying to locate my card.
It wasn't the first time I was getting that question. Lakshmi Mittal, the bulti*-trillionaire, is famous in Cleveland, thanks to his many giant buildings littering the city, and several hundred side-road-signs with 'Mittal Steel' in huge lettering and the words 'Clean up for real' in much smaller print reminding people to save the environment.
'Of course,' I said. 'He's my father.'
The guy's eyes widened.
'Then you must be...,' he began
'Vanisha? No, I was kidding. My dad's a scientist.'
The guy laughed. 'You almost had me there. What kind of scientist?'
'He's a nuclear scientist.'
'Wow,' the guy said. 'Intense. What's his name? I might've heard of him.'
'Dr. Kalam. A.P.J Abdul Kalam. '
The guy froze while scanning the stack of DVDs I had placed in front of him.
'The President?'
'Ex-President,' I corrected him.
The guy stared at me.
'Hah,' he said at last. 'You're pulling my leg.'
'With a steel rope,' I said, laughing at last, as I collected my DVDs and put them away in my bag.
---
At least that was how I should have responded to his question. Instead, when he asked me if I was related to Mr. Lakshmi. Mittal, I laughed and said 'I wish'.
Alas, wit is undeniably the tortoise in the race of life.
*bulti=multi x 10^3
'Any relation to the steel tycoon?' he inquired when I told him, simultaneously sifting through a little box, trying to locate my card.
It wasn't the first time I was getting that question. Lakshmi Mittal, the bulti*-trillionaire, is famous in Cleveland, thanks to his many giant buildings littering the city, and several hundred side-road-signs with 'Mittal Steel' in huge lettering and the words 'Clean up for real' in much smaller print reminding people to save the environment.
'Of course,' I said. 'He's my father.'
The guy's eyes widened.
'Then you must be...,' he began
'Vanisha? No, I was kidding. My dad's a scientist.'
The guy laughed. 'You almost had me there. What kind of scientist?'
'He's a nuclear scientist.'
'Wow,' the guy said. 'Intense. What's his name? I might've heard of him.'
'Dr. Kalam. A.P.J Abdul Kalam. '
The guy froze while scanning the stack of DVDs I had placed in front of him.
'The President?'
'Ex-President,' I corrected him.
The guy stared at me.
'Hah,' he said at last. 'You're pulling my leg.'
'With a steel rope,' I said, laughing at last, as I collected my DVDs and put them away in my bag.
---
At least that was how I should have responded to his question. Instead, when he asked me if I was related to Mr. Lakshmi. Mittal, I laughed and said 'I wish'.
Alas, wit is undeniably the tortoise in the race of life.
*bulti=multi x 10^3
Friday, May 1, 2009
Oysters of Wisdom
"If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plan." - AA, friend
"Be careful of excelling at things you don't like." - JK, co-worker
"Be careful of excelling at things you don't like." - JK, co-worker
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